Bikram HOT mother effin YOGA!

i come out from work and there's D waiting for me...we're on our way to Bikram HOT mother effin YOGA!

first warning...i got to check my car and get my 'yoga gear' and somehow this morning in my bleary eyed state i picked up the wrong bag....however this one did contain my bathing suite and a towel so from what i had only seen in pictures at this point i could've fit right in. but do i really want to bare all that freaking skin/fat and fit in quite yet....NO! so at this point we're not going to give up. i call phil...wonderful husband who willing runs to walmart, buys me new workout clothes and drops them off down town where D and i had just finished our orientation***

LETS GO BACK A BIT

Ok so there are those points in your friendship where you want to try something new and one of you brings up the idea...provokes you. and if you're lucky like me...you and all of your friends are so stubborn that once you come up with the idea and say yes no matter what happens...what it looks like.....how uncomfortable you are...no ones backing down. it's like playing chicken out of love. anyways a week or so before D and i were talking about trying something new. Being active but we both wanted to try something we've never done before thinking oh God we'll never make it at the Gym.....so instead of starting at the shallow end we dive straight into the deep end of sweat. it seems harmless D finds a deal go twice a week if you've never been before for $20. we're in...not a huge financial commitment and really who would've thought too much further..... there was the scaring experience of buying tight ass work out clothes...who wants to see themselves in clothes that tight in florescent lights....not me...but i made it.

now reading the instructions it's a little erie but comeone who's gonna back out now? WHO'S GONNA BE THE CHICKEN? neither of us....

so here are the rules.....

be completely silent
focus on yourself in the mirror the whole time
hydrate alot (take half of your body weight...divide it in half and drink that many OZ of water...now some of you may be lucky but for me that was a heck of a lot of water)

so we're back....after the forgetting of the stretchy clothes fiasco, completely hydrated and an orientation of breathing excercises the instructor says something that at first listen sounds harmless but in hindsight....why didn't i over think this one?

"Make it your goal more than anything to not leave the room"

so here we go...to the change room where i haven't seen that much bottom since the bottomless party scene from Harold and Kumars escape from Gutanamo Bay...(not recommending that movie) we made it in the clothes...we make it to the room and i'm pretty sure the instructor separated us on purpose.....which i'm pretty happy about because i wouldn't have not talked if there wasn't someone between us.

So 105 degrees & 90 minutes later....our bodies have been stretched to their limits, our lungs are greatly expanded....part of it did feel peaceful....like when she tells you to stare at a fiber on your towel...that part was good. my head was pounding.....mascarra smeared everywhere, clothes soaked and feeling i'm pretty sure the most disgusting i've ever felt in my life....but we did it. we stared in the mirror....we made rediculous sounds while we breathed and at the end were shocked when everyone chanted Namaste.

leaving felt alright because we were out of that temperature...sore but not too bad....but waiting for the next day....next day was sore but ok... then there was the day after.....

i felt sick....and we were making a plan of going...then D pipes up with stories of mold in lungs and hospitalization....all the sweat on the floor....THE FLOOR WAS CARPET! When you're in there focusing on the humidity, the mirror unfortunatly and the temperature you're not thinking about the buckets of sweat thats going on the CARPET! basically it's a bacterial breeding ground.

from then the discion was pretty clear that we were never going back......